one way or another

So where was I?

Oh yeah....quit my job without thinking through the consequences of not having a steady paycheck.  Not one of my brightest decisions but it certainly wouldn't be the last boneheaded move I make in my life. You'll probably see here a pattern of stupid fueled by immaturity, drug abuse, and just plain dumbassery.  

Anyway, I really enjoyed my freedom from not having to toil away at a job every day for about a week before things like paying rent and eating food started to become a reality.  So I took odd jobs here and there, nothing that would stick, I didn't have a clue where I was going in my life until I thought about enlisting in the military.

This was the mid seventies and I don't know if anybody remembers the mindset back then, but the military was not nearly as glamorous as it is depicted today.  Vietnam was very fresh and actually volunteering to join was seen as somewhat desperate or crazy.

I was both.

I moseyed over to the enlistment center and started at the first office on the corner, which was the Marine Corps.  Inside was a fat, shaven head, bulldog looking guy who went on and on about how the corps would make a fucking man out of me and if I even considered any of the other branches I was a pussy.  I told him I would think about it and got the hell out of there.  Next in line was the Air Force but they had an "out to lunch" sign on the door, so I went to the next....the Navy.

The Navy guys seem laid back.  One even had a beard.  They had bell bottom jeans (still kinda popular) and didn't seem to be all that hung up on the spit and polish bullshit the Marines were obsessed about.  I talked with them for the rest of the afternoon, watched a few promo films, and was sold.  Told them to sign my ass up.  They said...."not so fast young man, first we need to give you an exam, kind of an entrance test".  So I had to wait a couple of days to take this huge exam with about a hundred other guys wanting to join various branches of the military.  It took about three hours...and I aced it.

Really.

100%

Evidently nobody had ever done that before.  They sent me to see an admiral in another state in order to convince him that I didn't cheat on the tests or anything.    All of a sudden they started treating me very nice.  I said I kinda needed to enlist in a hurry because I was running out of money to pay rent and buy groceries.  They said "no problem".  They asked if I had ever used drugs and I replied "well, I smoked a little pot". They said "ahhhh, who your age hasn't" and said that wasn't a problem.  By the end of the week I was being poked, prodded, groped, and sworn into the U.S. Navy, boarding my first jet plane ride to sunny California. 

---to be continued